People always ask us, who is the Quartzsite Bagger?
We are something like the Trinity. We are the father, the son and the holy spirit all wrapped up in a bovine form. We were born in Jenny Jones’ mirror. We are the yin to her yang. The aenima to her aenema. At our core, we are the same as Jenny. Brash, bold, rude, crude, socially unacceptable. But where her right hand raises, our left hand raises. Where her left hand raises, our right hand raises. Where Jenny thinks she is a real journalist, we know that we are full of shit. Where Jenny wants people to believe the crap she spews, we only ask that you not get any of the crap we spew on your shoes and then track it on the carpet. We just got it cleaned.
Perhaps someday Jenny will stop publishing lies and exaggerations. Perhaps someday she will find another town to try to ruin. Until one of those things happens, though, the Bagger must exist to bring balance to the force. As long as she spreads fiction as fact in earnest, we will be here to make fun of her. As long as she is in Quartzsite, prepare yourselves for a high irony diet.