Press Release from Samantha Vederma’am -parody, not to be taken seriously

Posted: 5 June, 2012 in Uncategorized

SAMANTHA VEDERMA’AM ADDRESSES THE JUNE 4, 2012 SPECIAL MEETING OF THE QUARTZSITE COMMON COUNCIL

On Monday, June 4, 2012, the Quartzsite Common Council dissed two of my main homeys and my benefactor, Tricky Dick, don’t like it. Since I met with Tricky Dick in plain sight, I figured I would have scared the Council into doing what Tricky Dick wanted, but I guess they are no more impressed by my threats than they are by Ed’s. He’s old, but he’s mean.

I know you’re thong is in a twist Tricky Dick, but I’m working on a way to get your boys on that Council before the Town can do anything about all those fake votes. Y’all know they gotta go around me, because I won’t do shit for them fuckers. I proved that by letting Roth and Stadler skate – let ’em try that shit in my tiny non-ADA compliant lobby and I will literally fuck them sideways, but that’s another story.

Never fear Tricky Dick, your girl Samantha has your back. Won’t nobody be prosecuted for felony illegal voting by my office. I don’t give a fuck how strong the evidence is. We’ll get your boys on that council and you can forget about all them back taxes you owe the town. You can use those tens of thousands to grease my skids, if you know what I mean and I think that you do!

So, anyhow, my advice to the people of Quartzsite, by which I mean Ed, Mark, Tricky Dick and the Prutchster, is to stay calm and get some Lysol for fuck’s sake. You stink.

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