Flogging the Doggie

Posted: 9 March, 2012 in Uncategorized

What to make of Samantha Vederma’ams missive against Jeff Gilbert and his incidental swipe at Martin Brannan? The Bagger talked to our secret informant, Huggy Bear, and got no clear answer but some interesting speculation was raised.

Be mindful, this is merely speculation, no actual dogs were wagged in the weaving of this story.

Sometime last year, one of Sammy’s bulls got caught in the china shop. Although Sammy allegedly told the Parker Police Chief to investigate the rampaging bull, before the Chief could send in a man, the china shop had been cleaned out of all its merchandise. Then, Sammy allegedly went on a rampage, insisting that the investigator the Chief sent in to investigate be pulled from his post and raging that the Parker Police Chief lacked the necessary integrity to be part of the elite team of superheroes made up of Vederma’am, Chief Gilbert, Chief Mendoza and Sheriff Lowery known and the Justice League.

So, Huggy Bear thinks that Sammy’s bull had something in the china shop that Sammy didn’t want the rest of the Justice League to know about and threw a hissy casting out the supervisor of the Justice League’s minions and trying to oust fellow Justice League Super Hero Chief Mendoza.  Although the china shop was scrubbed – ostensibly before the rest of the Justice League could find out what Sammy’s bull was up to – Sammy can’t be sure that her secrets weren’t revealed.  Afraid that Chief Gilbert may have this secret info, it would behoove Sammy to undermine Gilbert’s credibility in the event that Gilbert tries to use this top secret information.

Allegedly.

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Comments
  1. neversmores says:

    Interesting! Very very interesting indeed. Mayhaps a visit with Samantha’s bull is in order. If he found some dirty business about Sleazy Sammy, that may be why he wasn’t fired then and still has a job now. Wouldn’t scrubbing the china shop during a criminal investigation be illegal? It seems like it, but then who would prosecute said bull, Sammy is in no position to. The position he’s best at is on his knees … or so I hear.

  2. neversmores says:

    I have some interesting news on Samantha and Mikey Flame that I’m anxious to share with you. It’s 100% USDA choice cut prime. Oops, sorry Bagger. I shouldn’t have been so insensitive and chosen more acceptable terminology, I didn’t mean to offend your great bovine-ness. But anyway, we needs to talk!!!

    • wolfcatcher says:

      Neversmores, did you look at Slammin-a-Man-tha’s new facebook page? Dusty Bagger, from New Orleans. Why couldn’t he think of a more original name. What a CopyCat, shows he can’t think for himself, and from the comments on his facebook he likes taking shots from a local bartender. Very interesting.

      • We took a poll and decided two things. 1 – we are still pissed at Zuckerberg, so we won’t be looking at Facebook, maybe Huggy Bear will do a screen capture or something. 2 – we agree that Dusty Bagger is a lame parody of our parody. We would have gone with Bilbo Bagger.

  3. If Huggy Bear does a screen shot. One of Dusty’s friends, Dave Lynch, ironically has pictures of the current La Paz County Attorney holding what appears to be an alcoholic beverage while squinting and then another that has a comment claiming Vederman is “glazed” over. My favorite is the one where Samantha is pointing at the camera and it says ” County Attorney elect showing who’s boss”. That picture would be perfect for his Campaign. The Lioneer should have used that picture for Samantha’s campaign plug a few weeks ago.

    • We’re kind of fond of the picture they used. Kind of looked like a bloated whale carcass after a few sharks had gotten a bite. We hear a lot of closeted gay men drink to excess. Just a coincidence, we’re sure. Samantha seems equally unattractive to both sexes to us, but, hey enough alcohol and people have been known to have sex with barnyard animals. Not, cows, of course, we’re too civilized for such shenanigans, but sheep and hogs for sure.

  4. desecrateus says:

    Fraudster likes 4 legged bed mates.

  5. wolfcatcher says:

    Looks like the County Attorney Scared-e-Man has taken down his “Dusty Bagger” fakebook. Don’t worry, I have every screen shot, comment and picture posted. Maybe I should sell the pictures to the newspaper or the nearest gay bar. Wait, I think maybe those pictures are in the men’s bathroom bar stalls already, just a guess. Mikey Flame and Slammin-A-Mantha need to come up with a Plan B. Or maybe the County Attorney should tell Flamer to shut his piehole and keep a secret when he is out of the closet and in the public earshot. Overheard he is chatting Samantha up, maybe giving away too much information. Agenda or Stupidity?

  6. I would gander that Samantha steers queer to glory holes or bathroom stalls. Or is that two ganders?

  7. neversmores says:

    Ugh, that’s a disturbing mental image! I had the unfortunate luck to run into Mikey Flame a few weeks back and all I can say is yuck. He looks like shit! Not that I ever found him attractive, but he’s really let himself go. Pot belly, lumpy face and jowls, bags under eyes, skin problems, hair like an overworked Brillo pad. Perhaps he just had a rough night with lover boy Samantha, but I’d say it looks like he’s had a rough couple years.

    Which one do you think is the giver and which one is the receiver in their relationship?

  8. desecrateus says:

    A friend had a nice long chat with one of Samantha’s worker bees and passed along some juicy tidbits. I’m anxious to share that news with you. One has to wonder why Samantha and Mikey Flame don’t just fess up and exit that closet they do their dirty deeds in. I, for one, would have much more respect for the two of them if they did. Correction, I said I’d have more respect for them, but that’s a lie, I don’t respect them at all right now.

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