Always a conglomeration of personalities, the Bagger was killed by the same factional discord that is soon to kill the Town of Quartzsite. No one is to blame. Everyone is to blame. Fuck it. Whatever.
SAMANTHA VEDERMA’AM ADDRESSES THE JUNE 4, 2012 SPECIAL MEETING OF THE QUARTZSITE COMMON COUNCIL
On Monday, June 4, 2012, the Quartzsite Common Council dissed two of my main homeys and my benefactor, Tricky Dick, don’t like it. Since I met with Tricky Dick in plain sight, I figured I would have scared the Council into doing what Tricky Dick wanted, but I guess they are no more impressed by my threats than they are by Ed’s. He’s old, but he’s mean.
I know you’re thong is in a twist Tricky Dick, but I’m working on a way to get your boys on that Council before the Town can do anything about all those fake votes. Y’all know they gotta go around me, because I won’t do shit for them fuckers. I proved that by letting Roth and Stadler skate – let ’em try that shit in my tiny non-ADA compliant lobby and I will literally fuck them sideways, but that’s another story.
Never fear Tricky Dick, your girl Samantha has your back. Won’t nobody be prosecuted for felony illegal voting by my office. I don’t give a fuck how strong the evidence is. We’ll get your boys on that council and you can forget about all them back taxes you owe the town. You can use those tens of thousands to grease my skids, if you know what I mean and I think that you do!
So, anyhow, my advice to the people of Quartzsite, by which I mean Ed, Mark, Tricky Dick and the Prutchster, is to stay calm and get some Lysol for fuck’s sake. You stink.
The Bagger was told that Richard Abbey has proclaimed that his job is to change the public’s opinion about Ed and Richard. Sounds like a job for a Propaganda Minister.
We have confirmed that Sam the Sham Vederma’am was, in fact, at the Shell station hanging with Messrs. Foster and Oldham for Saturday date night. We guess she only doesn’t get involved in Quartzsite politics when it suits her own bottom line. We have also learned that less than 24 hours after meeting with Oldham and Foster, Vederma’am declined to bring charges of resisting arrest against Foster and Oldham supporters Dana Stadler and Michael Roth. It must be good to be king.
Or should that be Meatwagon?
We heard it from a friend who heard it from a friend who heard it from another that Samantha Vederma’am was spotted rubbing – elbows, let’s say – with Ed Foster and Richard Oldham at the Shell Station Saturday. Can anyone confirm? Inquiring bovines want to know.
We’ve been getting bugged about this since posting the letter, so we asked Huggy Bear. Here’s what Huggy said:
The letter was professionally written for a concerned resident of Quartzsite based on information gleaned from a multitude of sources.
That should clear that right up, then.